Big Time Sickness Part III
by 96.tyler
Summary: The fearless, confident leader of our favorite four has a secret hes trying to keep to himself, afraid and embarrassed of the consequences. What happens when everyone finds out? Kendall Knight is sick, how long can he hide it?   Fluff. Pre series.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer - I do not own Big Time Rush **

**Chapter 1 **

Kendall Knight resisted the urge to kick something out of frustration. He fiddled with his hair for what felt the like hundredth time, yet it still refused to sit in any decent position. Combing it didn't work, placing individual pieces in there designated spots was too irritating and making it lay down with his hand did little. Finally he just gave up grabbing his back pack and pounded downstairs, his already bad mood proceeding to get worse by the moment.

Have you ever woken up and just knew that today was going to be a bad day? Like there was something in the air giving you signs that maybe you should just stay in bed because people weren't worth dealing with? The universe was telling you to just not face the world today? Seriously, just don't.

Kendall knew the instant he woke up that today was going to blow. He knew before his head had even let the pillow. Upon getting up everything was slowly just confirming that. His shower was ice cold, his favorite plaid shirt was ruined with peanut butter, his black vans were nowhere to be seen and now his hair just wouldn't lay any particular way. That doesn't even begin to include the ridiculous scratchy feeling he was feeling at the back of his throat or the nausea in the pit of his stomach.

However he just shrugged the feeling off, assuming that his bad morning was just trying to send him over the edge. Kendall refused to let it win so he hurried downstairs ready to tackle whatever else the day had in store for him. He probably should have known it was nothing good.

"Good morning sweetie," Mrs. Knight greeted her son with a kiss on the head and set a bowl of cereal in front of him.

Kendall grinned, his mothers smile made everything the slightest bit better, "Morning," he said however his voice denied him and cracked slightly. He tried to clear it but the action proved to be quiet painful.

"You okay honey?" Mrs. Knight asked, worry clear in her voice. He studied her son closely and frowned when she noticed the look of pure exhaustion of his face. She instantly felt the urge to check his temperature and pull him into a warm, motherly embrace. She resisted the urge though. Clearly Kendall wouldn't like the idea of her mothering him. Not only was Kendall a 15 year old boy who was mortified by the fact of her kissing him in public, he had always been very proud and independent. He never really needed her as much as she would have liked, his dad picking up and leaving one day highly contributed with it. His added leadership and confident traits simply contributed to that. Having his mother fuss over him wasn't something that would be welcomed easily.

Kendall nodded, "Yea mom, fine. Just tired," he shrugged off avoiding eye contact with her.

Mrs. Knight frowned disappointedly, but did she honestly expect the answer to be any different? Kendall hadn't openly admitted he wasn't feeling well since he was five. She didn't expect him now to be thrilled with the concept. She wasn't completely convinced by his flimsy statement but decided to let it go, for now at least. He didn't look that bad off and she was probably just over reacting.

"Oh my god, I'm so, so hungry," Katie Knight complained interrupting her mother's thoughts as she took a seat next to her brother and instantly reaching for the food.

"Good morning to you to baby sis," Kendall laughed.

She just grinned up at him, "Ready for the game tomorrow big bro?"

Kendall grinned and ruffled her hair to which he just earned a glare, "You know I'm always ready. The guys are looking good this year,"

"They better," Katie smiled.

Tomorrow night was the first game of the new hockey season. Kendall was reprising his role of captain for a third time this year, and aiming for yet another first place trophy. Hockey was his only and favorite past time and there wasn't a moment he didn't love the freedom of the ice. Hockey coursed through his veins and it had been months since they'd played a proper game of it. He couldn't wait to get back get the feeling of gliding on the ice, all other worries except that puck forgotten.

"We'll be there, front row sweetie," Mama Knight smiled.

"I wouldn't expect it any other way," Kendall said in a matter-of-fact tone, "If you guys aren't there it'd put us completely off our game, I don't think Logan and James would cope," He joked.

Katie laughed, "I don't think James would,"

Kendall just grinned, "Alright come on baby sis, school time."

Katie groaned and finished off her lucky charms, "I hate school. It's so stupid, half the kids in my class are stupid and the other half don't want to be there, how am I supposed to learn anything?"

"Katie," Mrs. Knight reprimanded and she grinned sheepishly.

Kendall laughed and went to get up from the table, but it took a lot more effort than usual. His whole body was slowly aching and a simple task like moving was sort of painful. He let a small groan of pain escape his lips and Katie frowned, "You kay?" She asked.

Kendall nodded, stretching his muscles trying to loosen them up, "Yea, just stiff. I didn't sleep well last night." He said easily. He hadn't sleep well last night, he'd been up late going through game plans in his head. That was why he was so sore, he concluded. He just needed more rest and not to stress so much. They had the game in the bag, he needed to loosen up.

On the way too school Kendall didn't feel any better. The entire time his body continued to ache and a slow, throbbing headache was forming in the back of his mind. Quickly Kendall tried to shake it off, deciding this bad day was just trying to get the better of him. He wouldn't let it win.

"K-dog!"

Kendall felt a weight jump on his back and he almost buckled from the pressure, "Carlos!" Kendall cried struggling to get the hyper Latino off his back. Having Carlos jump on him was a usual thing in the mornings, but today it was particularly unwelcomed.

"Less than 48 hours until the big game bro!" Carlos jumped up and down in excitement dismissing any annoyance he saw in his leader. His face wore a look of pure anticipation and a smile like he'd just been given a puppy.

Kendall smiled with him, unable to continue being annoyed at one of his best friends, "Yes Carlos, it's very exciting," He agreed.

Before Carlos could reply with something about hockey Logan and James approached the boys, "Yo Kendall, I set us up a date Saturday night. Mindy and Jess? Best friends, gonna be awesome," James said slinging his arm around the boy and flashing his winning Diamond smile that could leave nobody denying him of what he wanted.

Kendall resisted the urge to roll his eyes yet saw Logan do just that, "Why does she want me to go? I don't even know Jess," He asked incredulous, the last thing he really wanted to do was go on a double date with James.

"Because," James replied as the boys walked to class, "You know Jess, she's that brunette in your Math class. She's pretty and you'll like her."

Kendall looked skeptic, "Mindy wouldn't go out with you unless you got Jess a date would she?" he concluded.

James smiled sheepishly, "Logan refuses to come and Carlos has a family thing. Come on Kendall I'll owe you one."

"You already owe me like three," Kendall stated.

"Please man," James pleaded.

Kendall rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway knowing he would go to the date James had set up. He was always roped into these things anyway, now it was just easier to say yes straight away then deal with the pleading and puppy dog eyes that were bound to come if he resented.

However before he could even say he'd go, his chest became tight and he started to cough. It wasn't an extremely loud or harsh cough, yet enough to be uncomfortable. And enough to get his friends to stop in their tracks and give the boy a very concerned look.

"You good?" Carlos asked after Kendall had finished.

Kendall flushed slightly and composed himself, "Of course, I just had something in my throat." He lied easily.

Logan looked at him with his eyebrows frowned, his doctor senses blaring, "That cough doesn't sound like something suck in your throat, are you alright?"

Kendall laughed, easily hiding the discomfort he felt in his chest from years of practice, "Yea I'm fine,"

Kendall rolled his eyes when Logan still looked unconvinced, he pulled the boy by his shoulders into a one armed hug, "Chill-axe little Logie, you worry too much,"

Logan shook his head and struggled from the blondes grip, "Alright, alright, kill a guy for being concerned why don't you?"

Kendall and James smirked, "That would be a lot easier if you didn't worry about every little thing," James teased.

"I wouldn't have to worry if you three weren't so stupid," Logan said.

"I resent that!" Carlos cried and jumped on Logan's back taking them both to the ground.

"Carlos!" Logan yelled annoyed.

James and Kendall laughed at the two boys who were now causing a scene in the corridor. Some students were watching them as they walked by, but most were used to the four boys craziness and just continued walking without looking back.

"Come on, we're going to be late for class," Kendall smirked as he helped Logan up while James pulled Carlos into his upright position.

"WHOO! ENGLISH!" Carlos yelled excitedly and raced off to class.

"What's he so excited for?" Logan asked annoyed, while brushing himself off clearly annoyed at the Latinos antics.

James shrugged, "I donno,"

Logan rolled his eyes as they walked to class, Kendall trailing slowly behind. He breathed a sigh of relief as he dodged another bullet with his unsteady health. Honestly Kendall had no idea what was going on. He couldn't ever remember feeling like this. The more time that pasted the more his body continued to ache. Now not only was the throbbing in his head becoming more apparent, and the scratchy feeling in his throat was worsening, his chest was beginning to tighten and his who body was becoming painful. The more steps he took the more his body just wanted to collapse.

He however did his best to ignore the pain that threatened to expose his rocky cover. Now was not the time for an illness. He had the biggest hockey game ever on Friday, a date that James was counting on him for on Saturday and a major math test on Monday. That didn't even include all the little things in between that he would miss just because his body didn't want to cooperate with him. Kendall didn't get sick. He was Kendall Knight, hockey captain, leader and mentor. People looked up to him, he couldn't get sick. He just couldn't.

He barely made it through the first two sessions of school, which seemed to be even more dull and lifeless then usual. He had no idea what went on during English, something about a book… and the themes going on in that book… maybe it had something to do with friendship… Kendall honestly wasn't sure. He only barely remembered something about the Russian revolution in history. He vaguely remembered someone called Lenin leading the Bolsheviks, or was that Trotsky? Kendall's attention span was becoming distant and his head was still throbbing.

Logan was continually giving him concerned looks which he just ignored while trying to stare at the teacher and now even James was catching on to his low mood. Kendall knew James was extremely observant of people, especially of his best friends. So he should have known James would have caught on as quickly as Logan.

Kendall chose just to ignore them and hope they'd drop it. It was probably just a headache or some 24 hour thing, he wasn't worried so there was no need to worry his friends.

Besides, he was Kendall bloody Knight, he didn't get sick.

_**Warning: Super long A/N read at own risk **_

**Long time no see right? ;) **

**So, I know I haven't finished BTS II. But today I was just in the mood to post something, and I started this story ages ago so I figured, why not? I know it's not the best start to a story and I need to finish BTS II before I can post the second chapter but I wanted to get the ball rolling for motivation. This is going to be a bit different to the other two, I just want to go into a little more depth. Bit more of leading up to the sickness, because Kendall deserves that. **

**I've been super, super busy these last few weeks. I just finished my year 11 exams, I start year 12 on Monday and I have possibly the most important exam of my life coming up soon which I have literally been studying for non stop! It's insane, but I'm trying to get into some more of a routine, once school starts back up again that should be easy (hopefully).**

**When I'm not studying my ass off I've been working or been reading. I started the Hunger Games last week….and finished the whole series in less than a week. I fell in love **_***blushes shamefully* **_**seriously every spare minute of my life was dedicated to that book. It would have finished it earlier if I didn't have things to do, like sleep. I can't wait for the movie. I think Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth will be perfect. If you haven't read the Hunger Games, seriously go do it. I couldn't recommend a book more. If you know any awesome Hunger Games FF, send me the link. For real.**

**Because of that book however my inbox is clogged up with author alerts and story updates that I haven't gotten around to. If I haven't reviewed something I usually do, its probably because I haven't gotten around to it. Believe me I will soon. That book seriously took over my life lol**

**On a different note, Big Time Superheros was awesome. I love Bandanna man and Kendall was exceptionally cute in that episode :D **_**Music sounds better with you and Intermission**_** = love. If you haven't checked out my other stories "Big Time Sickness" or "Big Time Sickness Part II" you should also do that too. I'm super excited for this story guys, I have massive plans for poor Kendall. I can't wait to get into it and for you to read it! **

**May the odds be **_**ever**_** in your favor ;)**

**Tyler. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously, **

_**Logan was continually giving him concerned looks which he just ignored while trying to stare at the teacher and now even James was catching on to his low mood. Kendall knew James was extremely observant of people, especially of his best friends. So he should have known James would have caught on as quickly as Logan. **_

_**Kendall chose just to ignore them and hope they'd drop it. It was probably just a headache or some 24 hour thing, he wasn't worried so there was no need to worry his friends.**_

_**Besides, he was Kendall bloody Knight, he didn't get sick. **_

**Chapter 2 **

Logan knitted his eyebrows together in a concern as he watched his blonde leader struggle to keep his eyes open. He tried not to roll his eyes at the boy when Kendall tried to discreetly cough into his sleeve only to be unsuccessful.

All day Kendall had been acting odd and Logan didn't like it one bit. This morning he came to school, tired and flustered, then throughout the day had been showing signs of only one thing, illness. Logan cringed at the very thought of their leader being sick.

Kendall _hated _being sick.

While everyone hated it, Kendall despised the very thought of sickness and refused to let it dominate him. Kendall was the leader. He was proud. He wouldn't let some illness tell him what he could and couldn't do. It would be giving in and that was something Kendall didn't do.

Logan loves Kendall, they all did. But he hated how proud he could be sometimes. Kendall refused to ask for help and when people offered it, he really didn't appreciate it. Kendall was proud, he could look after himself. At least that's what he told himself.

Although while Kendall thought he could look after himself, Logan seriously doubted it sometimes. He hated the way Kendall tried to act all tough and independent all the time. When would he learn that sometimes it was okay to ask for help?

"Kendall?" Logan hissed and threw a wadded up ball of paper at the blonde.

Kendall looked up from his yawn when the paper collided with his head and glared at Logan, "What?" He hissed back.

"You good?" Logan asked concern evident in his eyes.

Kendall rolled his eyes and nodded, trying to shake Logan off his tail. He turned back to his math paper and tried his best to focus on the questions whilst Logan's eyes burnt holes in the back of his head.

Logan frowned when Kendall ignored his question and watched the boy barely keep his eyes open while working. Logan didn't like being ignored.

Not sure what else to do, because clearly focusing on his own work wasn't working he threw another balled up paper at Kendall's head, hitting directly on target. He wasn't sure what the purpose of hitting Kendall with paper exactly was. Clearly it wasn't going to get Kendall to confess or open up any time soon and if he could assume anything it was that he was probably just making the boy's headache worse. Nonetheless he continued to do it, even if it was just get a rise out of his leader. It was better than nothing at all. This time when Kendall felt the ball hit him he just looked up annoyed and threw the paper back, smack between Logan's eyes.

He frowned, he probably should have seen that one coming.

Before Kendall went back to his work though Logan didn't miss the glassiness in his eyes or the bangs beneath them. If the blonde really was sick then he was going to have to tread carefully.

Logan however was pulled out of his thoughts when a balled up piece of paper hit him, only this time on the side of his head and from a completely different direction from Kendall. He turned to see James looking at him concerned two tables away. James must have been watching the entire thing. The pretty boy mouthed 'what's wrong?'.

Logan sighed, "Nothing," He whispered. For now it was probably better to keep any concerns he had to himself, at least until he was sure. Although from the look on James's face, Logan had a feeling they were thinking the same thing.

-/-/-

After class Logan stayed back to talk to the math tutor while James and Kendall eagerly left the room, wanting nothing more than to go home.

"Math was brutal," James complained walking in sync with Kendall to their lockers where they'd meet Carlos and Logan.

"Yea," Kendall replied tiredly.

"I didn't know anything," James whined.

"When do you?" Kendall smirked.

James frowned but it turned into concern when he actually took in his leader's features properly. Kendall looked tired, more tired than usual as his eyes glassed over and he walked without his usual confident demeanor, "You okay man?" James asked concerned.

Kendall tried not to let the laugh escape him sound bitter, "I'm fine James, just a bit tired,"

James frowned not completely convinced, but decided to let it go for now. James trusted that Kendall knew what he was doing, although he worried that he was putting a little _too _much faith in the boy. Everybody knew how much Kendall prided himself on his independence and confidence, anything remotely close to tearing that down would ruin him. Of course not physically, but James understood how much Kendall didn't like to be fussed over or babied. On more than one occasion he had witnessed the boy avoid situations that he deemed as weak, only to end up in the position later. He really shouldn't delay the enviable, James thought. If he really was sick he should probably just give in and let them, along with Mama Knight deal with it. That's what was going to happen eventually. It always happened. As if they were going to let their undying leader wallow and suffer in self pity and illness by himself.

James tried not to chuckle aloud at the thought of Kendall blushing brightly at Mama Knight fussing over him and force feeding him chicken soup. It highly amused him to see his best friend in situations that made him squirm in embarrassment. It wasn't often they happen, with Kendall being so proud and all, so James like to take the Mickey out of him every time they did. James would just ride it, eventually Kendall would have to be knocked off his high horse and allow them to help him. While he wanted nothing more than to see his blonde friend at full health and ordering the hockey team around, he won't knock looking after the boy for a while, he sure could use it.

"If you say so Ken-doll," James smirked as Kendall frowned, loathing the stupid nick name.

"Ready for hockey practice guys!" Carlos appearing out of nowhere exclaimed bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Kendall jumped in surprise at Carlos's arrival and groaned, "I forgot about hockey practice,"

The last thing in the entire world he wanted to do was run around the ice while barking orders at team mates that refused to listen or where just too stupid to actually do anything right. His head was pounding, he felt nauseous and the only thing he really wanted to do was curl up in his warm, soft bed and let his mom feed him soup.

He sighed, knowing the moment he admitted to any kind of illness all hell would break loose. He couldn't and refused to show that kind of weakness, knowing the moment he did, not only would he be letting his team down tomorrow and fall behind in too much subjects he would never live down the endless worrying, babying and mollycoddling he would receive. Not only from his Mom but all three of his friends who didn't like to admit they were total mother hens when it came to their best friends.

"You still good?" James smirked at the blonde, eyeing him down.

Kendall frowned and squirmed a little under the pretty boy's gaze, "Yes, of course," He faked easily.

"Hockey practice it is," James laughed.

"Where's Logan?" Carlos asked confused.

"Talking to Mr. Defro, something about the theory of Pi equaling 7 over squared 4 or some other nonsense," James replied.

Carlos made a disgusted face, "Ugh, math is just a theory!"

Kendall laughed at the one, trust Carlos.

"You did not just call math a theory," A very annoyed Logan exclaimed approaching the boys at the locker.

"Yes I did," Carlos said smugly, "Because it is!"

"On what planet?" Logan asked.

"Here! Math has never been proven,"

Logan looked at the boy like he'd grown three heads, "You're kidding? Math isn't a theory, creationalism is a theory, you having a brain is a theory. Math is a proven science that works globally,"

"Science is also a theory," Carlos replied.

Just as Logan looked like he was either going to blow up or cry in frustration Kendall stepped in between them, "Come on guys we have hockey and if you two don't knock it out you'll both be doing laps," he grinned.

Logan rolled his eyes as Carlos poked his tongue out, "Child," Logan muttered.

When it was Carlos's turn to roll his eyes Logan turned to Kendall as once again concerned filled him seeing the blonde. Logan could feel his doctor senses run wild and wondered what it would take to get Kendall to admit he wasn't well.

"You gonna be okay for hockey?" He asked.

Three sets of eyes settled on the blonde waiting for a response and Kendall groaned frustrated, "Of course I'll be fine. I'm fine! I wish people would quit asking me that," he snapped and quickly bolted down the hall. Obviously this day was just continuing to get worse by the moment. He was fine! Clearly he was fine! Would his friends just leave him alone for one minute? They were such worry-warts. Its not like he was going to collapse and die this very moment. He was feeling a bit off, that was all. He was tired. Simple. It did not require there constant concerned looks, pity gazes or multiple questions of 'are you okay?' Did he really look that crap that he needed that?

Kendall frowned as he sped walked down the corridor. Maybe he looked worse then he felt.

Or maybe he was just as bad as he felt and constantly denying it was going to get him nowhere.

No, he decided. He was fine. The more he kept telling himself that, the more likely it was to come true.

James and Logan just sighed in union and followed the now very cranky leader, but Carlos was a bit more then confused, "He's not fine is he?" Carlos asked.

Logan and James just shrugged, "Come on guys!" Kendall snapped when the three boys trailed behind him.

"He's grumpy when his sick," James muttered annoyed.

This was going to be a long session.

**I am a terrible, terrible person. It's been like, what, months? All I can say is, I'm sorry and I hope it doesn't happen again. The thing was I really didn't want to update this until I finished BTS II, but that literally only has one more chapter that I can just not write! It refuses to come. So I decided that screw it, I'll just start updating this. I really like this story. **

**This chapter was a bit of a filler, but the next few are pretty good (tooting my own horn) I promise they'll be up soon. **

**On a different note Elevate was awesome! I love 'You're Not Alone', its insanely good. Also, I CANNOT be more jealous of people in America right now. If Big Time Rush touring wasn't enough to be jealous of, One Direction will be joining them! God damn it! I would probably sell my soul to see both BTR and 1D on the same night, same stage…. That's just too much hotness and adorableness to handle. Maybe it's a good thing, I might die.**

**Anyway I really appreciate the people sticking with me. I promise to try not to flake out again and have some more chapters up soon. Also ideas for BTS II would be awesome and MMFLSE readers should probably put in some kind of two cents too ;) **

**I love you guys! :D Thank you a million. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Previously, **

_**No, he decided. He was fine. The more he kept telling himself that, the more likely it was to come true.**_

_**James and Logan just sighed in union and followed the now very cranky leader, but Carlos was a bit more then confused, "He's not fine is he?" Carlos asked.**_

_**Logan and James just shrugged, "Come on guys!" Kendall snapped when the three boys trailed behind him.**_

"_**He's grumpy when his sick," James muttered annoyed. **_

_**This was going to be a long session. **_

**Chapter 3**

Possibly deciding to play hockey, wasn't Kendall's brightest idea. Not that he was going to let anyone know that of course.

His only real option was just to suck it up and hope for the best. He ignored the sharp pain in the back of his head, the soreness of his probably already raw red throat and nausea that threatened to have him expel his lunch. He hurled orders angrier than usual at his team, channeling his pain into his hockey. Normally he was a fair captain. He loved hockey, it was his life. He wasn't going to unjustly scream useless orders at his team to train better, that wouldn't help anyone. The only way to truly get through to his team would to be fair with them. Treat them like who they were, his friends. Just because he was captain didn't mean he was any better than them. It didn't make him a better person or hockey player, it just made him passionate. Passionate about the thing he loved and it got them to the finals every year.

Logan loved learning, James loved singing and Carlos just loved everything. But Kendall, Kendall loved hockey. As a freshman he had easily proved his talent among the older boys and was respected for that. It would have been murder if he didn't make captain. Nobody would have had that.

Although today he wasn't fair. Today life wasn't being fair, so why should he?

What would cause the Gods to make him feel like this? What deity had he royally pissed off to deserve this torture? It was the biggest game of the year tomorrow, there comeback from their third winning season and he could barely think straight let alone get that stupid puck in the stupid net. He yelled orders furiously at his team, more frustrated in the fact that he couldn't think properly then there actual playing. He was being irrational, unfair and just bluntly a prick. But as long as his head continued to hurt, and Logan and James continued to look at him worried he would continue to yell.

Although, he was sure soon the team were going to call mutiny on his erratic leadership change.

"Kendall!" James barked skating over the captain. His hair still perfectly cropped under his helmet and scowl planted on his flawless face, "You good man?"

He scowled his captain for more than one reason and Kendall simply glared back holding his ground. James was the only one who ever really questioned his authority. James was the only one who could. He was his best friend. James kept his ego in check while he did the same for him. James and Kendall were both confident, head strong leaders who both could have large egos. While there personalities probably should clash more than they do, they seemed to balance each other out. Carlos and Logan almost worshiped Kendall and they were too trustworthy to ever question him. James would. Kendall usually loved that about his best friend, it kept their friendship strong and knew that it meant James cared. But today he wished James would keep his annoying thoughts to himself.

The question lingered in the air, suggesting more than one problem was surfacing.

"I'm fine," Kendall snapped back, "I'd be better if the boys would just listen to me!"

James rolled his eyes, "I'm sure they'd listen to you if your instructions were actually relevant to anything!"

"My instructions were relevant!" Kendall spat annoyed.

James decided to take a step back, "You sure you're alright then?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, now stop asking me that,"

James put his hands up defensively, "I'm just saying man, If you're…"

"I'm not!" Kendall barked before James could even mutter the 's' word.

"You don't look good is all," James said trying to stay calm but could feel the frustration build inside of him.

"I'm fine James, now get back on the ice," Kendall muttered and skated away quickly from the boy.

James sighed defeated as he watched the blonde skate off, far more unbalanced than usual. It was clear to every single Tom, Dick and Harry that something was bothering Kendall. And it didn't take a genius to work out what. Why did he have to be so proud, all of the time? Was it really that difficult to say he wasn't well? Tell his best friends that something was wrong? Tell someone he was going to puke?

James couldn't understand Kendall sometimes and he figured he should honestly just stop trying. Clearly Kendall wanted to be alone, so James should just let him handle it alone. If he wanted to be stubborn James could equally give the boy a run for him money.

He bitterly laughed at himself as he watched Kendall yell at Tom Anderson for missing a shot and told him to do 20 laps of the ring. He couldn't be as stubborn as Kendall. He was pretty sure nobody in the world could. And he certainly couldn't ignore his friend when he was in this much pain and refused to ask for help. No matter how much the boy pissed him off, he would still help him at every cost.

James had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't Kendall's fault he was so closed off. Kendall had been closed off since he was little. From an early age he'd been quiet. While everyone thought the mighty Kendall Knight must have been outspoken, loud and confident from the day he entered the world James could tell you many instants which indicated otherwise. He'd know the boy since he was five after all.

When they were very little he can remember Kendall being that shy blonde boy who hid behind his mothers leg in kinder garden. He can remember him shyly approaching James asking if he could play. Remember Kendall being dumbfounded when someone pushed little Logan into the sandbox and being a tad terrified of the overly energetic Carlos. Kendall had always been passionate and driven, but there was a time when he wasn't always so fearless.

James can recall countless nightmares he comforted the boy through. Days where they sat by Kendall's front door praying for Mr. Knight to come back home even though they both knew it was hopeless. Broken bones which brought tears to the blonde's eyes that James had to wipe away. Few people can remember Kendall at times like this. Beside Katie and Mama Knight, Carlos and Logan are probably the only people besides him that do. And that's how Kendall would like to keep it.

Something changed Kendall over time. Maybe it was the strain of his dad leaving that broke him. Maybe it was the stress of looking after his family. Or maybe he saw the world for the terror, violent means that it really was. Either way Kendall stopped showing emotion or anything that he deemed 'weak'. Suddenly he became the fearless leader he was born to be who took care of everyone and everything. He was still the same caring, brilliant Kendall who James befriended all those years ago, now he was just harder. And honestly after all the crap his been through James couldn't say he blamed him.

He just wished Kendall wasn't always so hard. Always so distrustful and independent. James wished Kendall trusted _him _more.

He smirked slightly as Kendall took a seat on the bench putting his head in his hands. James couldn't tell if it was out of frustration or due to his clear illness he insisted on ignoring. James figured it was a bit of both. He loved his best friend, and he didn't blame Kendall. It was just who he was. Kendall saw it easier to keep a distant from everyone, keep up his independent façade rather than letting people help him.

When Kendall finally admitted to being sick it was going to be an interesting few days. Although even James couldn't help but get slightly annoyed by the unprecedented timing.

"James?"

Logan waved a hand in front of his face, "Yea?" he asked, not knowing how long Logan had been trying to get his attention.

"How you think he's doing?" Logan asked.

James shrugged, "Not well. Stubborn as ever."

Logan groaned, "He's going to get phenomia at this rate!"

James gave the smaller boy a quizzical look. "He's going to get sicker if he doesn't stop straining himself," Logan said in simpler terms.

James made an 'O' shape with his mouth, "We could always just force him to rest."

Logan snorted, "How do you think that would go?"

James imagined if would go very loudly with a lot of colorful complaints added into the mix by Kendall. The only way he could picture Kendall resting due to force would be by restraints, as they didn't really have enough blackmail that would keep him in a bed. He imagined one of those hospital beds with wrist restraints, but could really only seeing that lead to a few black eyes. There was no way they were going to force Kendall to rest without them and the only way to get him in restraints would cost James a black eye that he wouldn't risk with the school play coming up.

He also assumed nobody else would go for the restraints as even if they were necessary, they were a bit inhumane.

"Not well," James admitted.

"Yea," Logan said, "We just have to wait until he comes to us."

"Or he collapses first," James muttered.

"That is also a possibility," Logan said.

Both boys smirked as they watched Kendall force himself off the bench with more strain then necessary and yell at a few more of the boys for no reason. Sean Bradley looked like he wanted to punch Kendall right in the face but pulled himself together before skating off and muttering very loudly about 'man periods'.

"If Kendall didn't look like he was going to collapse I would deck him!" Sean cried when he skated up to Logan and James. Sean was goalie for their team and wasn't exactly known for his practical temper. Dark brunette and almost standing as tall as James most people simply just tried to stay out of his way and not piss him off too much. The boys didn't mind him, he was friendly enough and a good hockey player who usually respected Kendall as their captain. Although clearly now, Kendall had pressed the boys button. James and Logan honestly couldn't blame him though.

"What the hell is wrong with him today?" Tom asked. Tom was far more passive then Sean. One who usually liked to keep to himself and got grades as good as he played hockey. James preferred him over most of the boys, but Tom wasn't one to interact in large groups beside hockey. His love of hockey was the only thing that was stronger then his anti-social behavior and the hockey team were the only people he liked to be around. "He hasn't been like this for ages."

Kendall hadn't been like this since the anniversary of his father leaving a few years ago. Every year that date would be one the boys deemed as one they'd just have to ride off, but luckily hockey rarely fell on it. The one time it did they all ended up doing laps for half an hour and suicide drills the other half.

"He just really wants to win tomorrow," Logan lied lamely. While both James and Logan knew Kendall was clearly sick, they hadn't realized _everyone _else had picked up on it. Although it seemed like they all knew something was wrong with the captain.

"He looks like his either going to hurl on the ice or blow a casket," Sean said.

James wasn't sure what 'blowing a casket' exactly meant but he wasn't sure he wanted to know either.

"I don't think he's feeling that well," Logan said.

"No shit Sherlock," Tom replied smirking.

Logan rolled his eyes, "Don't take him personally today. He'll move on."

"He's not going to be okay for tomorrow, he can barely stand up," Sean stated.

The four of them watched their captain almost sway slightly. Watching him made James feel nauseous.

"Maybe by tomorrow he'll man up and realize his sick," Tom suggested positively.

James and Logan shrugged hopefully, but they wouldn't hold their breath.

_**So I was meant to have this up Sunday night, but it was my boyfriends 18**__**th**__** Saturday night and let's just say I drank a bit too much and spent most of Sunday with my head in the toilet. It was terrible and I'm such a light weight but it was totally worth it! **_

_**Because I left you hanging for ages, here is another update! Hopefully you liked this one better then the last. It's a bit more eventful. **_

_**Right so do other people actually say 'no shit Sherlock' or is it an old aussie thing my very lame friend still says? I'm not sure anyone else uses it… **_

_**Hopefully you can take the time out of your very busy lives to give this a quick review, thank you so much guys :D **_


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